Last Breath
by queenofomega
Summary: One-shot: The thoughts of a character before taking their last breath. Identity of the character is kept a secret until the end. Dark fluff.


**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: NY. The idea and inspiration for this one-shot came from **Sunset** by **lily moonlight**. I'm really glad she let me use the idea and hope this does her fic justice.**

**Author's Note: Not really very descriptive in my usual metaphor way, but I decided to keep it simple and more for the emotional content. If you haven't guessed who it's about already, the identity of the character whose perspective this is from is kept secret on purpose. In some ways, they may seem a bit OOC, but at that point before death, I wonder how much like ourselves we'd really be?  
**

_She knew that he would lead her straight to trouble. She knew that he was just like any other criminal, that all he wanted to do was cause pain in some way. She knew all this, yet, for some reason, she still followed him to that alleyway. She still disobeyed orders. And now she would pay for her mistake._

…**…**

_Pain._

I've never known pain like this. I've always thought that I was… invincible in a way. I thought I could defeat anyone, anything, any obstacle that got in my way. I always thought I was strong, and that I could keep going on, no matter what happened. I thought I could push through, without ever thinking of consequences.

Now I'm facing them.

I'm facing the consequences and I'm afraid.

…**…**

_She would risk her life for a stack of old coins. Never in her life had she been so stupid. She couldn't even call it stubborn anymore, just stupidity. She'd been ordered to step down. She'd refused and now he'd lose her forever. She had never considered what anyone else would feel when she stepped into Death's welcoming jaws._

…**…**

_Fear._

I never really knew fear. Now that I'm in that black hole of fear you always hope you'll avoid, I know that I've never even brushed up against fear. This fear is real.

I believed I was immune to fear, like it was something that only little kids felt. Maybe if I hadn't avoided fear before, I'd be stronger now. But fear has taken me into its hold. As stubborn as I am, I know that I have met my match.

And he's not here to save me.

…**…**

_She hadn't used her head. She let him hunt her, lure her, trap her. She let some personal vendetta get in the way of reality. She hadn't used her head. When he threw her to the ground, she hadn't screamed, only swore and tried to attack him back. She refused to let herself believe that she was wrong- even if she was._

…**…**

_Death._

It's sad how it takes something like dying to make a person realize what they still needed to do. What they should have done before; all the things that they've missed out on and could have done but had made excuses not to. I know that now. Everything I could have done has been wasted. I can't now.

And then there's telling him how I feel. I'll never get that chance.

…**…**

_She hadn't felt it when the knife cut through her skin. All she felt was the rage that had fueled her to be so damn stubborn before. She wanted nothing else but to watch her kidnapper rot in hell. She'd been so ready to die to set this guy straight, to get him locked up for good. She'd almost never realized her own life was at risk._

…**…**

_Love._

I can hear the sirens from far away. I know they won't make it in time. I wish I could have done something different. I wish I had been smarter, maybe even taken his advice to heart.

At least I can take comfort in knowing he's coming. I love him so much yet he doesn't know. All the words I want to say to him right now. All the words I've thought but never voiced. I'm about to put him through the pain that he's already been through once before.

I never considered his feelings.

…**…**

_She lay there bleeding, suddenly realizing what she had done. But her realization had only come as her life drained away with no one there to help. She had no way to call for help, only the hope that someone would know how to find her. She'd made the worst mistake of her life and he didn't know where she was._

…**…**

_Angel._

I hear his footsteps but I know he's come mere moments too late. I feel him drop to his knees at my side and press his cool hand to my cheek. I hear his voice murmuring words to me, pleading for me to be all right. He's come too late. He's come to late and I can't tell him.

My eyes close, and his voice gets tighter. It's constricted with what I know are sobs that he doesn't want to shed in front of me. I'm numb, and soon enough, all that's left are my thoughts. I know I'm going to go to a nice place, but it will never be perfect without him. I won't be complete without my angel. But it's not his time to go. Inwardly, I cry, _it wasn't my time either!_

I beg my lips to move. I'm not even sure if I have lips anymore. All I am aware of is him. I'm beginning to drift away, but his voice keeps me grounded. I listen to it with all my heart.

"Stella…"

I want to reply, more than anything but I can't. As I take the last breath that I have, I can think of only one thing. I'm happy, because I am about to die with that one person in my mind.

Mac.

**Fin.**


End file.
